I'm sorry you feel better for losing it rather than for solving your problems in a positive fashion. For me, negative habits of thought and action have been the hardest thing to "fix." They get me "stuck" where I don't want to be and I have to practice better responses over and over for a long time before I get back to where I do want to be. It's been 15 years and I'm still having troubles with one problem I've been working on well since 1991. But, I was doing it "wrong" from 1955-1991 so looks like I won't get it better until 2027? No problem, I'll only be 87