This is true, but PTSD also messes with your memory full stop. My mind is basically in bits. I went through a phase where I realised I had PTSD, felt like I'd had a lightbulb moment, researched the symptoms and told my T I thought I'd figured out what I had. THREE times. Each time, it felt like new knowledge, until I remembered I'd thought of it before.

I came back to this post because this has continued and it's really kind of mind-boggling how my subconscious appears to be able to make my T feel certain things. Last Friday, I went for an extra session and, at the end, he was sitting opposite me on the floor, and he kind of bent over and pressed his forehead into the carpet, like he was completely defeated.

Today, I asked him why he did that. He said he felt like he wanted to go and bash his head against a wall. I asked if he meant that he was really angry, frustrated and/or sick of me. And he said no, he didn't feel any of those things, he just felt like he had the urge to do something violent to himself. "Which is how I imagine you must feel."

I was battling sui urges last week, and I told him about it, and apparently he actually felt it. How completely nuts is that.