I hate it, I had the thought to try and remember how old I was when I began fighting to keep my father away from me . As close as I can remember it was when I was in the sixth grade . We moved every two years or so and I lost the sequence of living in Oklahoma and living in Kansas . I called my mom to find out when we lived in Kansas and she said we lived in Kansas after Oklahoma . I'm shocked because I lost the memory of this , it's significant because that means after we left my dad in OK. , my mom let him come and take all of us to Kansas to live later . I did not realize that happened. It's like I didn't know my mom took us back to him after what he did . I forgot ...I forgot . I remember him molesting me in Kansas , and I remember silly things like thunderstorms and lightning, I remember they wanted to send me away to school . I remember they had a fight and he drove us back to my grandparents house in the east. I forgot he tried to hurt us before then.

I can't believe she had us living with him after he tried choking her then grab me by the throat when I tried to stop him from hurting her. Things have been jumbled and forgotten , this is just to crazy. Don't know... Do I really need to remember this now , he's dead and I only know I see my mom differently. To old for this, feeling like a kid...feeling like that kid.