Update: My T was not too interested in discussing my problem of wanting to know about her. She didn't think it was a big deal that I asked, and she said she decided to tell me. It didn't seem right not to. I think she said she had wanted to tell me because it would make us closer. I wasn't expecting any of these answers so I may have heard wrong! But she did say that we know each other a long time, so it may have been okay for me to ask and to know. She's fine. I think she's glad she's leaving her H.

She wanted to go back to the SE from last time, as did I. So, my session was okay though SE is so slow. It's not talk therapy. She always says I've had years of talk therapy that didn't help, so we're doing this. "Trust me, she says." Then I ask "what about EMDR? That didn't work." SE is like EMDR but slower, gentler. "We're talking about your parts too," she says. So....I will trust her because it's a different approach, and I want to heal. Plus she's right about my years of talk therapy.

I forgot to say that I did sort of apologize to my T for asking her, and that's when she said it was okay, etc.

I don't want to start another new thread, so I will add something here. I know I'm doing better, but I was triggered by my T talking on the phone when she left the office. I went to the bathroom first, and didn't know she was leaving. We met in the hall. It was the first time I cried after a session in a couple of months! I know it's transference and about me, not her. It still hurts incredibly. I emailed her that I want to do SE about it next time instead of what we're doing. It's upsetting how quickly I reacted to being left out. That's old stuff, and I know I wasn't left out, but yes, T went back to her real life. She waved to me, but she was laughing on the phone! It seems she's on her phone all the time when she's coming or going. Like the rest of the world. My brain knows everything; it's my heart and body that are the problems!

So, I've got to use DBT skills for this. I can do that. I think. I know I can!
Please, no criticisms of my T or of me. I just have a need to get it out.
We're all "works in progress" here. Most of us, anyway.