I only wish the morphine had been from hospice care......it wasn't. They screwed up my Mothers care so bad because her surgeon was never willing to tell her anything except that he "got it all". She wasn't on hospice care until 5 days before she died.

The person who was in the home care position manipulated her way into that position. She was the friend on my Mothers boyfriends daughter & lived across the street from my Mothers boyfriend. The daughter wanted me to meet this friend. The friend introduce herself as an RN that was working as an oncology RN at St. John's & that her parents had both died of cancer & didn't want anyone with cancer to not be able to spend their last time at their own home. She told me that she could make everything work out so that my Mother could be taken care of in her home. I didn't like her pushy personality & when my Mother met her, she didn't like her either.

The friend called up the hospital & then she called me up & told me that they were discharging my Mother that day. Panic....I hadn't made arrangements for the care my Mother needed because the social workers never included me in on the information they were telling my Mother.......& this friend was telling me I didn't have any other options than to have my Mother come home & "don't worry" she would make everything work out ok. She wanted to go with me to the hospital & talk to them about my Mothers discharge.

I was angry because no one had told me anything about anything & I had never delt with anything like this in my life. I found out that the friend had told the social worker that morning that she "was the home care provider for my Mother". I had seen my Mother go down hill so quickly & felt that she had probably had a mild stroke on top of everything else because her cognative abilities went down hill after an incident she had right before I had her hospitalized this time anyway.

I felt trapped & didn't feel I had any other options. The "RN" said she could be there when they brought my Mother home by van (I had responsibilities at home & couldn't be there myself)

The next 5 days were a nightmare. My Mothers wedding ring was missing off her hand. When I went to find all my Mothers valuable jewelry, it was all missing. I had my Mother sign a few checks & after I wrote a couple to pay the for the weekend home care, there were 2 more checks written to someone I didn't know & neither did my Mother & then one for cash in the same handwritting. (the copy of the check was left, the checks had been taken.). The "RN" told me not to bother my Mother about stoping payment on the checks they weren't for that much. (how did she know how much they were for????). Tuesday morning I woke up to talking thinking it was my Mother. It wasn't....she was still alseep. What I heard was the "RN" giving out all my Mothers personal information, her own, & then mine. That was when I confronted her & fought over getting the phone. I finally got it & as I was walking off with it, I found out that it was a credit card application that she was doing & right then, the phone went dead. The "RN" begged me not to tell anyone & that my Mother had given her permission to apply for the card. She said she wasn't thinking straight because the vet called her & told her that he had to put her dog down because.....

After she left for awhile that morning (leaving me alone with my Mother because she had fired the other home care person), I looked at the phone cord....it had been pulled out of the wall & cut. I immediately started calling nursing care providers (which I should have done in the first place.....only before I didn't have enough information to tell them what kind of care was needed....now I did). I arranged for someone, only they couldn't be there until the next day. I needed help, so decided to keep her there until then.

The next day, my Mothers lawyer was to come & make the last changes to her trust & she had a Dr appointment after that. Well, that morning, the "RN" asked to leave for awhile & would be back to get my Mother ready. I got a call after that, a social worker wanting to talk to my Mother (the voice was the same as the "RN"....hard to not recognize the Carrabbien accent). I could hear a little since I had to hold the phone up to my Mothers ear (she couldn't do that anymore).....telling my Mother that she shouldn't be controlled by her family & that it was not ok.....

Right after that came a knock at the door. It was the police.....rude police....one went to talk to my Mother & the other kept telling me that I should know what he was there for. After 2 hours of this, I found out they had gotten an annonomus call telling them that I was abusing my Mother. I know the "RN" walked in right after the police but have no idea what she was doing during that time. Luckily my Mothers lawyer arrived & that was when the police backed down. Once all that was over, the "RN" was getting my Mother ready for her Dr appt. while I got myself ready. I walked into talk to my Mother & she was complaining that the "RN" had shoved a hand full of pills into her hand & told her to put them into her mouth & then gave her a huge glass of water to swollow them all. My Mother told me that one of the pills had dropped. A little while later, my Mother was shaking all over & was even more out of it that she had been. When I told the "RN" that I was expecting someone & wanted her to leave for while, she flew off & called 911 & then said she was going to call the police again about the abuse.

When the paramedics arrived, they initially said that my Mother wasn't serious & didn't need to be taken to the ER. I didn't care...I insisted. I figured this was the best way to get rid of the "RN". My husband (who had arrived during this) & I chased the "RN" away & on her way out, she said "your Mother is never coming home again".

When I arrived at the ER, the Dr there said that my Mother seemed as if she had been given too many sleeping pills. When I got my mother transferred to the hospital where all her own Dr's were & went back to her home....I found the missing pill & that was the morphine pill. I don't know how many more she was given in that handfull.

I know that there isn't anything wrong with providing high levels of pain relief to cancer patients......the problem is that now I know that this person wasn't an "RN" like she claimed. She was a con person. There were many more things that happened after those 5 days.....showing me how dangerous she was but what happened in the house for those 5 days is really hard to shake out of my mind.

Debbie