I want to clarify a few things. First, my T never said I couldn't ask about her family, just her H. She never even said I couldn't talk about him, just that she didn't want to talk about him. There has never been a boundary about asking about her kids. She's kind of loose about boundaries. I think if their marriage had been okay back then, she would have been okay with it. I remember when I did ask her something once and she answered. She even showed me a photo of him on her phone. So nothing has ever been crystal clear. What's clear is that she wants T to be about me, not her.

tinyrabbit, thanks. Yes, when we do SE it's about how I am in the room with her, right then. But it's always okay with her to bring up anything I'm thinking or wondering about her. Like I posted, she did not say that I crossed a boundary when I asked her today. She was kind of glad I figured it out, I think. My T is flexible. She's not all into rigid boundaries. She DID NOT say it was a mistake to ask her. I'm repeating that! She was NOT caught off guard, she said. She had a week to prepare because I emailed her about it last Tuesday after that session. But she did tell me that she changed her mind after she wasn't honest in her answer. She said it didn't feel right not to be honest with me, and she wanted to tell me.