I saw my therapist today and did not talk about it... but then it made me anxious for not having at least brought up the topic of self-injury, as it is something very prominently floating in my head lately. I had a group afterwards, and I was too distracted at not having talked to him about the si to really be present in the group. They asked me what was wrong, and did not want to let up. I finally asked to be left alone about it because I did not want to talk in specifics in a public forum... I don't really want to talk to my t about it in specifics either, but with where my head was, I was afraid I would spill way more than intended if I tried to talk about it during group... (I am the only female in the group, though the primary facilitator is also a woman)... there was no way I would every show up again if I let this slip during group... I would have likely left early and in a worse place had I talked about it...

I did ask my therapist for another appointment on Friday... I don't think I will be able to talk to him about the specifics, but maybe I can find a way to talk around it again... There's just WAY TOO MUCH shame involved in all of this... but the draw is so huge also.