debbie, what can you do about any of this now? the only thing you can change is how you view it and how you respond to your feelings about it.

your mother was dying and the morphine still enabled her to not have so much pain. isn't that somewhat of a relief for you?

do you feel guilty that you didn't know what was going on then or what to do? you were doing the best you could then.

the best thing that i can suggest for you is to start working to detach from it and move on.

you cannot go back and change one thing that the doctors did nor can you change anything about her care. but you can change the way you're going to live the rest of your life. and you are the only one that can do it. good luck, pat