I'm came here hoping that maybe people with similar issues would have some advice.

Who am I? I'm a 30 y/o male, working full time and living independently.

Background:

So as far back as I can remember, I was depressed. When I was 7 or 8 years old, our family had moved across the country (USA) due to my dad needing to find a job. It was terrifying for me trying to meet other 3rd graders. I got to meet some people, but it was pointless. We moved within the city from a rented house to their own house, because of this I had to move to another school in the middle of 4th grade.

Again, I was terrified at this point and was using video games and computer stuff to help keep my mind occupied. This did me no favors for helping me meet new people. Basically I was a skinny dork. However slowly but surely I did meet people and began to socialize. Unfortunately, pretty much everybody I knew in grade school went to a different junior high/middle school at 7th grade.

So once again I was alone. At this a point many kids were socializing with friends they already new, which pretty much kept me as an outcast. It was a struggle for the next several years to meet any friends. Those that I did meet, I wouldn't consider close friends.

Near the beginning of my sophomore year in high school, I saw in the news that the place my dad worked at was closing and that they were laying off people really soon. Not too long after my dad found out his options: lose his job and find another locally, or keep his job but have to transfer out to another place. Obviously my dad chose to transfer out in about a year.

At this point I pretty much gave up at life. For my entire sophomore year I barely spoke or looked at my parents, didn't try to socialize at all in school, and just kept to myself. When I did speak, it was barely a sentence. Eventually the move happened and started my junior year in a new high school at age 16.

Due to me being completely terrified, depressed, and anti social at this point, I was one awkward weird person. No one wanted to associate with me, and I just wanted to go home and dig myself in a hole. This went on for the rest of my high school days.

At age 18/19 I was a very depressed unmotivated person, I dropped out of college and stuck around with my first job in high school. Even at my job (grocery), people would call me out on my quietness and awkwardness. Some people were total jerks and some people were sympathetic. However, at this point I was used to it and didn't think much about it. Eventually I moved out of my parents place and did the status quo of getting a paycheck then going to my new home and play video games.

Fast forward 10 whole years. I still have this problem. I thought I could be contempt with losing my life in a fantasy world. I was wrong. Even to this day, I still have jerks calling me out on being quiet and insulting me and being disrespectful when I try to explain my situation. It's been bugging me more and more and want to do something about it.

I have been hitting the gym and been eating more (5'8" - 111lbs, 1 year ago; now 141 lbs).

So in summary, never had a true friend or a girlfriend. I regret my lack of action of the past, and now I'm trying to make up for it. Unfortunately I dug myself in a deep whole and can't see a way out. It's tearing me up more and more inside. I try to talk to people, but it's awful. What am I suppose to say when people ask, do you have a girlfriend? and when was your last girlfriend? what do you like to do in your sparetime? How am I suppose to join in on a conversation when people talk about partying or doing things with their friends?

It's like there's no hope for me and wondering what I can do? While I'm not against therapy, I really don't like the idea of 1 on 1 therapy. Finding group therapy and talking to people with similar issues I would much prefer. However I can't seem to find anything in particular for myself in southwest AZ. Just a bunch of stuff for people with Bipolar, or women issues, alcoholics, and so forth.

I'd really don't want to go the route of medicine as that would treat the symptoms, not solve the problem. What am I to do? I am lost.