I am currently in a relationship with my bf, and while we are trying to understand each other's needs, I feel sometimes offended when men say they require sex.

In my head, I start picturing the centuries of women abuse, women tolerance and over-submission encouragement, etc. While I realize he isn't trying to be that way, I cannot help how difficult it is for me to accept it sometimes.

(He decided to "see how you feel about it" if he doesn't talk/provide "emotional" connection for 3 days---he is out of country atm, so were talking via text and skype).

I am trying to tell him, and sometimes I'm not sure if it's just me, or if most young women have a deep fear that if, she was told how men "need" sex for intimacy and feeling appreciated.

He says it is not fair that I get all my needs met, and not his. (since women can also connect with one another, but men cannot connect their way with anyone?).

Does anyone else have a tough time? I realize I have insecurities---I havent had good relationships with every adult male that has lived in the house since I was a child. My father and I got along ,but there was a point I resented or lost some part of me, and the other men were my controlling uncle, and my mother's ex boyfriend who was able to switch from nice to abusive.

He keeps saying he's trying to stare at me and not at other women, so he wants me to be more open to some things than I'm comfortable with at times.

We got over something the other day and I was happy, but I guess when he wanted to see me naked on webcam (so he doesnt look at pron, apparently), I got offended saying people can hack cameras, and I don't feel right.

I have this deep fear he would cheat on me, even if he reminds me he wants a long term commitment, and he's not the kind that hides what he wants or thinks behind my back.

My other flaw is I tend to put up rebellious walls...I guess it's that "hype" you get when you are emotionally reacting---or my social fear of "Oh no, they noticed I gave in to not being able to talk for 3 days, now Im weak"---or "that person has noticed that I changed, I cannot stand out"----which stunts my growth to become a better person .

He is usually quite positive, and I'm of OCD, anxiety and well, I get depression too...I feel so bad for how I am, and he wants to help me---but I need to know how to control my emotional impulses to something a man says.

I can handle not talking to him for 3 days (Im not feeling too good, and I got other tasks to work with---although, I always worry, worry and worry---"What if"---"what if he doesnt talk to me for longer than 3 days? ..."what if hes hanging out with that girl nxt door to his familys house, who are apparently childhood friends?...did I push this on myself? will I lose him?"