Im very early into my Dx's. About two and a half months with 3weeks being inpatient. I read the divorce rate for Bipolar is 90%. I mentioned to my husband who is very much out of grace and patience now that if he can't handle this after only less than 3 months he might as well leave cause this is a life long deal. I can kick the Borderline Dx in time, its behavioral. But the Bipolar, I just don't know. I am reminded that he's been dealing with my psychosis for the past 12yrs and I am only NOW just dealing with. I just figured me out. He did not say this, it just IS. We have three young daughters (8,5.5&3.5yrs old). We've been through a lot together. We've had a lot of happenings (pretty much everything but adultery) come between us. But there's never been a back door to our marriage. We are both from broken homes and have even jokingly said over the years that if we did divorce we'd get a bigger house, give each other space and live together. We know how much it matters. We want our family. To hear him tell it he loves me and wants to be with me but he really is suffering. One minute he's afraid of me, the next he's afraid for me. He gets very irritated with my mood swings. Heck, Im irritated with myself! I don't want to ruin him and the rest of his life. When I texted about the 90% divorce rate he replied that "we are definitely in the 10%. But he hates me at times. Makes him miserable to be near me when Im "negative" which apparently is always now. I've been on the depressed end for a few days now and Im spiraling out of control. I told him I wanted to go inpatient but I didn't want him to have to go through that again. I've tried my damnedest to get in with a pdoc and can't see anyone until 7/2. I managed to get one refill on my meds from the Rx'ing pdoc and 3 refills from an ER doc. But I am having bad sude efff