Hi all,

I am new to this blog and I am very happy to see so many people here with the same problem as me and I don't feel alone anymore

Where I come from ADHD almost doesn't exist,...I mean I have never heard no one talking about this, it is almost not mentioned in any newspapers, there are no blogs, almost nothing on the internet about this! People will say ADHD does not exist and that I am just lazy and shuld go on with my life. Which I was doing with anxiety and mild depression.

I am 29 years old and I have found out I have ADHD from a movie, funny I was really skeptic about it at the beginning but then I realised after searching on the internet that I have all the symptoms. I am currently studying in Canada and I had an option to go and test myself for ADHD. They confirmed that I have combined ADHD and Matematics disorder.

I have started with concerta 18mg one pill per day on the 1st of April. At the beginning I couldn't believe, how great it works and I was immensely happy. After 15 days it stopped working I had severe insomnia and really bad side effects, paranoia, suicidal thoughts, extreme anxiety, I was crying for 2 days for no reason, chest and throat pain, shortness of breath, my heart was going crazy and I had a panic attack. I never felt so bad in my life.

I was so scared I stopped taking them. I went back to my GP and described everything. I must say she never asked me if I am allergic to anything or if I have problems with my heart (which I don't) or she did not read my ADHD report from my Psychologist. She just prescribed a new drug for me Dexedrine 10mg I took it the next day and it was not working at all. I did not take any pills for the next 3 days. Went to the GP again and she just told me to get a higher dose of dexedrine 20mg per day. I asked her before, if I could get a smaller dose because of my insomnia but she said no it is ok you will be fine.
I took one dexedrine 10mg again yesterday at 2pm (I know I shouldn't take it so late), but I have my final exam in 2 days so I wanted to study because I was feeling extremely low. I was feeling very euphoric and I smoked a lot but did not study at all, could not focus. Did not fall asleep until 7am (my fault I know).
Today I did not take any pills and can not study. I don't know what to do. I feel really anxious right now.

I know I have written too much and probably no one will even read this, but I already feel better just writing this down somewhere.

I am happy that there are people out there talking about this.Thank you so much you saved me, just with your words!!!!

Love, Tara