Heavens NO don't kill yourself! What an awful thought! Suicide is a PERMANENT SOLUTION TO A TEMPORARY PROBLEM. Things aren't always going to be like this! You are early in your diagnosis, and things will be stabilized. It will just take time.

Don't you think you owe it to HIM to let HIM make the decision whether to stay or go?

If he said that you two are in the 10% as far as divorce goes, he must have meant it. Sure he gets agitated, who wouldnt? He only human. YOU would get irritated with HIM too, if the shoe was on the other foot. I just hope he reads up on BiPolar so he understands it more. He needs to understand it, so he doesn't blame you so much -- so he doesn't get so darned irritated with you, as though it was your fault! You cannot help it! You're not TRYING to upset him, or irritate him. Afterall, it irritates YOU too.

And NO, don't just "let him go." You have kids that need a father. You aren't able to handle 3 kids by yourself. Besides, I doubt he would go.

So stop beating yourself up. This is NOT your fault. And like I said before, you're early in your diagnosis and things aren't always going to be this way.
I think you should look around and see if you can't get into see someone else sooner than July!! Good grief. That's a long time to wait!

At any rate, keep us posted ok? And keep posting HERE. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee