I read your post and I guess I felt like that long ago. Things evolve, and we change, too.
I´d like to tell you how it got solved in my case. I spoke Spanish natively. Then, at 15, in The US, I learnt English. So I became a teacher of English. For a long time I just couldn't stand it. Being a teacher wasn't planned, I believe. Then, I studied Fine Arts, and learnt Portuguese, too. So, later I became a teacher of the 3 languages. And I came to embrace it, started making teaching materials, and all. Now I have another problem, it is a diction thing, but it is recent, so I don't really know what's about. Anyway, what I want to say is things find a solution. In the meantime, get and read a Tao-Te-King.