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Originally Posted by ready2makenice
I just wanna go into my little hole and stay away where I can't hurt anyone. But I don't feel strong enough to go in this week,its like I need space and I need to give my T space from me because I feel like I'm too much  |
I don't fear that my T needs space from me. She is very good at what she does. But I do feel like living in 'my little hole and stay away where I can't hurt anyone."
Quote:
Originally Posted by likelife
Did you let your T know your reasons for canceling?
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I hadn't when I had texted her to cancel. But just now I left her a voicemail explaining more fully my reasons for canceling.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tinyrabbit
It sounds to me that you are resisting therapy as you're getting close to important stuff. I'd say it's probably really important that you keep going.
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Yeah, the important stuff is already known and felt and needs no more infusion of energy which I think therapy would do. Too much to tackle at this moment
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne2.0
It sounds almost as if you're *curious* about what it would be like to not go to T or not have T's support. Curiosity isn't a bad reason to take a break. I think as long as you aren't keeping yourself from T as some kind of punishment, I think it's okay.
Honestly, I think you'd be better off going just this week and talking about whether taking a break would be productive for you. You don't have to open Pandora's box, but I think it might make sense to tell T that and process your feelings around taking a break. I think it would help you to talk about talking about it, and including T in these kinds of discussions may be more productive than you might imagine.
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hmmm, maybe it IS some kind of self-inflicted punishment. Or maybe it's testing how well I can manage without her support. Or maybe I'm just sick of talking about things. Or maybe I blame her somehow for my troubles.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tinyrabbit
I should add: I've always viewed my T appointment as completely unmissable, no matter how I feel. I can't imagine cancelling. So that's probably not much use really.
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I used to view my appointments as 'sacred' times during the week. Right now I just don't see how my T can help. Just me 'yadda yadda yadda' and her saying 'these feelings will pass' or 'finding peace in the midst of the unknown is the goal' or 'you're not a bad person, you are human' or 'try to focus on the positive - it's still there' or 'your life is not ruined just by one mistake' or 'condemning & punishing yourself will not right wrongs but forgiving yourself may do it' or 'seeking death is not a solution' or 'be kind to yourself' or 'you DO have value' or...