Rainbow - I find your experience with your therapist very fascinating. I wonder if I'd be as interested in my T's life outside the therapy room if my T had divulged much about her life.

I don't ask my T questions and now in 3rd year I still do not know if she's married or has children. I do know where she went to school (diploma on wall) and I do know where she grew up (she visited step-mother last year) and I know her specialty.

Even without knowing much about her personal life, she and I have had lots of occasions of interpersonal - what's the word - engagement, conflict, tenderness, etc. I feel I DO know her - just not the specifics of her life but rather the PERSON who she is.

I think it's great how hard you're working to create some detachment from your T. I believe strongly that our biggest issues are played out with our therapists. Of the many books that explained this, one of my favorites is "Attachment in Psychotherapy" by Wallin.

I sympathize with your struggle. Each of us has our own struggles and I will never criticize you while you're processing your issues here. I applaud you on being so candid on this forum and I know you've helped a lot of people process their own thoughts/feelings about attachment to their T's.