Oh, Ok, you have been tramatized by a father who basically rejected you and being bullied in school. Bullying is "tramatic" and even if you stood up and lashed out, you were hurt. People can develope PTSD symptoms from being bullied you know. Add to that your father basically "abandoning you" well, thats tramatic expecially for a 12 year old because at that age children feel and know alot more and are less resiliant.

Here is some info you can read through http://www.bullyonline.org/stress/ptsd.htm
this link should bring you to information on symptoms suffered from bullying, see if there are symptoms that might fit you.

They are discovering that male children can struggle if they lack a father mentor figure.
Sometimes young males can be helped if they find a positive male role model at some point in their lives. When they don't get to see how "dad" plays a positive role in the family, it is often felt "something is missing".

OE