Hi Laurie ~ Are you sure it's HIM that you want, or is it more the fact that you're just lonely, and he might fit the bill temporarily?

The fact that you never cared for him as much as he did for you hasn't changed, has it? Why would it? You haven't seen him in awhile. And evidently you weren't the "real you" around him, from what you have said. Do you think he'd really LIKE the "real you" if you showed that part of you to him? Since you're really more out-going and into metal, would he like that? You did admit you were "messing with him."

I suppose you could try to contact him and see what he says. But I'm not sure the outcome is going to be positive. I wish you the very best.

Take care and God bless. Hugs, Lee