Thank you all for understanding and caring. it means so much to me, this place. i miss it so much when im not here because i miss the people. you are good people, you all deserve happiness. and all of you, along with me, are working for better things in our own lives. it just takes time i suppose.

at a time when ones mind is in conflict with itself, and you dont really know what is the best path to take, it can be so hard to be able to provide warmth and care for others. to be able to make somebody smile, even if it is for a second, means so much to me and i miss it. i miss the wonderful characters that populate PC.

i dont know how much longer i will be away for. well, i say "away", i am still here as i said. i do check in daily to check my pm's. but i dont feel as though i belong here as much as i did do.

im just embracing the rollercoaster of depression right now and i seem to be looping over and over again, up then down, round and round!

i do hope to return soon, as, even if it doesnt help anyone else, it helps me to give my support to others, but in a different way than other methods, like the one im trying now. we all know deep down what the best thing for us is, but sometimes there is so much rubbish, baggage, debris in the way that it blocks our vision. so its a case of clearing all this debris, baggage and rubbish to be able to progress.ive cleared a lot already, but theres still more to move.

i hope that doesnt sound too wierd to you, but thats the best way i feel i can explain it. i like to use imagery as a way of communicating.

speak soon i hope. and thank you all again for supporting me. i wont forget it.

simon