Sally brown, I think your post is the first day of the rest of my therapy! As I was reading it, I was like, omg, do I know her? Did I do that? Wasn't that me?? Then this huge sense of the other person not caring, not being there, not seeing me - and yes, me asking, well why didn't you SAY something? Because I've heard myself ask that - why didn't you say something? And the other person just kind of sputters and doesn't answer - like, if you don't know, I can't tell you, or I'm not gonna tell you. But as you say, sally - why isn't the offender more responsible? Because invisible people don't have to be responsible, that's why. It's totally passive aggressive, no doubt - but as stopdog posted elsewhere very recently, you just end up screwing up your own life, throwing away your own opportunities. You take your neglect and turn it into self-destruction. Good thread.