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~EnlightenMe~ · 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ultramar

This is really interesting. It sounds like the -much- better relationship with this therapist (he sounds validating, ready and willing to get to the root of problems, trustworthy, etc.) has actually led you to have better boundaries with him. I wonder if sometimes (and I say sometimes, because there could be all sorts of reasons) patients have poorer boundaries with therapists they don't have that kind of solid relationship with for whatever reasons? Though I suspect -as you've pointed out re attachment styles, etc.- it also has to do with where people are in their journey.

What is it, you think, about this current therapist that facilitates you having better boundaries than with the previous therapist? Maybe T's could learn from this, huh?

My xT and I frequently had ruptures about my child part/needy part or whatever you want to call it. I had massive issues going in, unknowingly, and he was a good therapist but he didn't understand what I needed (nor did I).

I absolutely think that my current T's acceptance of who I am in therapy, and his focus on what in the past caused this today, his in depth understanding that behaviors happen for a reason, and his desire to help me find the reason. I feel safe with him, even though I do panic after session sometimes from feeling vulnerable. I think that he models flexible boundaries, he validates my emotions (which often cause my emotional upheaval), etc. I am going through similar reenactments but they are being handled differently, and this has been healing.