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Apr 24, 2013, 06:33 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,486
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wotchermuggle
If it were me, I'd be thankful that T accepted and responded to my email and resume what we've agreed on - one email a week.
I wouldn't start pushing boundaries about something that has already been agreed upon. If it was really important to email more, then that is something that needs to be discussed face to face in a session.
The whole keep-emailing-because-he-gave-in-once seems rude and inconsiderate. JMHO.
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I agree, I think it takes some flexibility in thinking on both sides. We talk sometimes about too much rigidity on the part of therapists, but I think this can happen with patients as well -having a too rigid interpretation of boundaries.
I'm not sure this applies, but it reminds me of a colleague of mine who was having trouble in her marriage. She said that they had both discussed and agreed upon things they could change to make the marriage work better. So she showed me a typed paper of her list and his list. Fair enough, sounds good, I thought. But then at the end she wrote something to the effect of: "And if one of us does not comply with the above stipulations, then we shall divorce." Signatures below. I was shocked, about to say something, then she said her husband agreed to it, but refused to include that last sentence, so I let it go. This is someone with a history of very rigid, black and white thinking (which still drives me nuts sometimes) and in a way it didn't come as that much of a surprise to me. This example isn't about boundaries, but maybe it's in part that kind of rigid thinking that can be one -of many- characteristics that can lead to boundary problems?
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