I had an experience today at work that I've had many times before. This time I brought some of the things I've been learning to bear and tried to learn from it. I think I had a small success.

Someone said something work related about which I had a strong opinion. I responded more or less appropriately but my emotions were much too strong. Some of my deep seated assumptions about how others view me had been triggered. So instead of calmly being in charge of the situation with humor, the way I'd like to respond, how I feel a mature adult would respond, I saw myself as strident and overly concerned.

So after muddling through all that I began the self criticism, self doubt, despair at ever fitting in. And I probably spend some time every day putting myself though that.

I tried with some success to remind myself of things like:
-this is old business, you've been here before, the fact that you're aware of it is progress; and you've showed more composure than you might have in the past.
-you can use what you've learned about shenpa from Pema Chodron in this situation: be with the feeling but drop the story; face into it instead of trying to distract yourself from it, life is fluid and changing and trying to impose your world view on the present is just grasping for a sense of security.
-and I went for a walk and focused on my feet touching the ground.

So I think I did something positive and putting out here on the forum makes it seem more real.