I talked about this with my T, and she made me see a few things a bit clearer. The first, and most promenent is that it's possible that because I usually feel like this at this point in a relationship, my body is saying "hey, it's time to be anxiouse and scared" and thus reacting to a threat that "should" be there but isn't. The other thing she pointed out was that, because I have started to fill the role of his mental health advocate, despite not being completely comfortable with it, I might subconsciously be perceiving that as him controlling me, even though it isn't at all.

It really helps to know I'm not alone in this. Thank you guys for sharing with me, that really eases a lot of fears because I thought I was a bad girlfriend and a freak for being scared and projecting like that.

I'm working on overcoming this, and it's not very easy because other stuff is also getting in the way, but I'm planning on talking to him about it tonight when he gets back from picking up his little bro at the airport. Depending on his stress levels though, because I don't want to trigger him.