Oh please! 19, not 79! You are so young - you will be OK, with time. Give it some time. You are very young. Things will settle down for you and you will have boyfriends, etc. Just let yourself experience the feelings you are having without rushing them or trying to will them to go away.

19 is awfully young. A great age, too.

What happened to the man whom you met 5 years ago and who was 10 years older? 5 years ago you were underage and he was 24. Now you are an adult and so is he. Why not look him up now?