I did get my return today! Big relief but it's soon to be spent on bills etc. bought lots of food and veggies. Will do juicing in the morning.

Pdoc today, I've agreed to slowly give lamictal another try, adding an extra klonopin for daytime for now, she feels it's much safer than Valium which is what I wanted.

She's very happy I'm juicing, says the antioxidants are great for mood and an energy boost. I asked for delplin, she said its a good one but can bring on more irritability so lets wait till I'm calmer.

I admitted I've felt irritable psycho pulling my hair out. I admitted to road rage and made her agree to not write that down because I'm not going to hurt anyone and wouldn't risk losing my license. I admitted I have not been taking the lithium because of the weight gain and that I want to scream when I look at that bottle. She thinks I'm doing well - for the cicumstances haha??

I will call her if I again have sleepless nights with racing thoughts where 2 klonopins and an ambien do nothing, and she'll write me for a few 25mg seroquels to try.

So overall I feel ok about the appt, she spent 40 mins with me, I vented well. I'm happy with her this time.

Work was rough today but my offices look gorgeous, ready for my big secret meetings all day tomorrow. I'm so nervous, it will be what it will be. I will be taking my new day time klon tomorrow for sure. (Our plan for klon tapering down will happen when life's a little steadier). And wearing extra deodorant cuz I'll probably be sweating!

Wish me luck!!!