Complicated friendship!!
Stage 1 - he was in love with me for over 5-7 years but I we always stayed as friends.
Stage 2 - Last year I finally gave our relationship a chance. I was so scared that I'll lose my bestfriend but I took that risk. We dated for about 1-2months and I couldn't stay with him because I couldn't risk losing my family either. My family wouldn't approve our relationship.
Stage 3 - After the break up we didn't see or talked to one another a for a year and 4 months ago we got back in contact.
Stage 4- He tells me he no longer loves me, he doesn't see me the same anymore. I miss our friendship so much, I miss the intimacy we once had.

I Just broke down a 10 year friendship and made it as simple as can be to understand the friendship. Just today Jay and I were spending time together like how we usually would do on his days off. Things got very intimate and well we had sex. He's feeling very stressed out because he knows he doesn't love me the same way and doesn't want to find himself viewing me as a sexual object. He said being friends with benefits will be very complicated because him and I already have our emotions involved in the past so it'll be difficult to figure out how not to get our feelings hurt.

All I could think about is wishing how things could go back to how things use to be for us. Maybe I am settling for the only closeness I can have with him when he's told me he no longer loves me. So where do I go from here? I'm clustered with so much emotions that I think straight anymore.