Okay. My mom told me that I am part Native American. I had no way of knowing that on my own and it didn't play a part of my experience growing up. It wasn't something personal to me. Suppose I found myself starting to imagine smallpox blankets, land deals for cheap beads, alcohol addiction, broken treaties, and the suppression of local language and culture. Suppose that I did this to the point where it was beginning to affect the way I see people in my life, especially those closest to me. It is beginning to affect my personal relationships. I start to see their behavior as just another piece of centuries of abuse. This is clearly having an impact on my own quality of life at this point. Maybe someone comes along and reminds me that I didn't always feel this way. There was a time before I took on all those other people's pain and I can let it go.

Or maybe you mean the second part.

If I were to choose the defining quality of a bf/gf relationship it would be sexual tension. It is not a "just friends" situation. It also tends to be exclusive; in this case it means that the bf doesn't get to be sexual with other women. I was asking, when you made him your bf instead of keeping him as "just a friend", what did you expect? What did you want? Why did you choose to make it a deeper, more exclusive relationship? And I was asking the original poster, of course.