Welcome to PC. I know how you feel - I have tried my whole life to be someone that I and others can be proud of, esp. when it comes to work. I've also always gone the extra mile and it never seems like it does an ounce of good. So I can relate to your feelings of frustration.

As for your husband and the people around you, you have to learn to let others in, just a little at a time. You need to see that not everyone will hurt you or let you down. This is hard to do, but not impossible. I'm still working on it because I find it difficult to trust others as well. You should try to work on a relationship with your husband and maybe salvage it before it is too late. It is always good to have someone that you can count on and can lean on.

I'm sorry that things are so rough for you right now. Do you have a therapist or doctor that you see? What about medications? Try to do whatever it takes to turn things around for yourself and have patience when it comes to work and stuff. It really does take time and perseverance to make things work.

Take care and best of luck to you.