Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowfrog268
I've spent all of my life wondering why. Why can I not make friends as easily as everyone else? Why does it seem that I'm out of step with everyone else? Why don't I say the appropriate things at the appropriate times? Even when I know that I'm supposed to say or do something in a particular situation, often I fail to identify just what that something is. Usually ends with someone else looking at me like I'm stupid or insensitive for not saying or doing the socially appropriate thing.
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Me too, and I've wasted my life struggling to overcome this on my own. AS (Asperger's syndrome) was not a diagnosis in the 60s when I was taken to be evaluated as a child. When I finally tried to get evaluated, they did intelligence testing first and decided I wasn't disabled (great - what about the AS?) and probably wasn't AS because I formerly "succeeded" as a teacher, if you can call spending all non-work time recovering from forced interpersonal interactions "succeeding." Oh, yeah, I didn't get fired and made good money, but I was dying inside. I sacrificed everything to my job. I feel dead inside. Always acting as if on a stage... in a Beckett play. I feel so burned out, even though I quit that job many years ago. So, to me a clear diagnosis of this would not be moot as the evaluator seemed to think. On the other hand, I would hate to tell a psychiatrist what I really think. Yeah, I don't think I could ever trust one of them, given the power they have and things I have seen and heard done to people by them. Locked away and loss of freedom, chemical straightjacket.
Should I even post this? Will it make any sense to me or anyone. Thinking about this has really affected me. Well, I know I can trust most people on this forum, so I might as well let it rip.