Thank you
The surgery I am at are diabolical. One GP I saw (you rarely get an appointment with the one you want to see) a few years ago was horrendous. I went because anxiety had just gone through the roof and I had such awful thoughts I couldn't cope and was seriously having a breakdown. I sat there in tears trying to say what was wrong and he just sat there and said "so, what do you want me to do about it then" in a really sarcastic tone of voice. I cannot stand him at all and avoid him at all costs now! The GP I usually see for my prescriptions (because he's the only one that'll give me Diazepam as he knows how bad my panic attacks are and the others just try to give me sleeping pills) is a nice guy don't get me wrong, but I felt uncomfortable at his suggestion that I just disregard any diagnosis ever made in the past or future because to me, I think it's the first step in understanding how best to deal with things. He said that the problem with psychiatrists is that they change their minds all the time, which I've seen myself with the few I've spoken to so I get where he's coming from on that, but it would be nice if perhaps I could see someone longer term so they're not just judging me after an hour because I think it takes a little longer than sixty minutes to diagnose someone! I have a long long history of problems that I couldn't possibly cover in one hour. It's a great idea to write it down first, didn't think about that. I've actually written 40,000+ words on what my life has been like so far, nowhere near finishing at all yet, but a large part of it is mental health and also the things I've gone through that perhaps have contributed to it. Maybe I should print that out and hand it to him lol
I admit part of the problem is until now I've felt too embarrassed and ashamed to admit a lot of things, so maybe I've been difficult to get to the bottom of. But I think it's totally wrong to slap a label on someone after one hour of talking to them. Not many listen to me, but fire questions instead almost like I'm under interrogation. It's not very comfortable, I can never make eye contact with them. My GP yesterday referred me himself for CBT. No one seems to know what they're doing, one lot will say one thing, another something else, no one can agree with each other.. I even had a psychiatrist and mental health nurse sat together in my living room having debates with each other about me, in front of me, because the psychiatrist hadn't listened to anything I'd said and kept asking the same questions. I said to my husband, he was like my grandad but a stoned version! Seriously, the circus they seem to run here, if you weren't already nuts its certainly enough to drive you crackers! And at the end of it all, they'll sit there and say "so what would you like us to do?" And I'm like, well isn't that your job? To know what might be helpful? I wouldn't be asking your help otherwise!
To be honest, I don't know what crisis teams are like elsewhere here but where I am they seem useless. My sons dad told them he had plans to commit suicide, told them exactly what he would do, they put him at low risk of suicide and guess what he ended up doing a few weeks later. I was disgusted to find this out at his inquest. If they'd just LISTENED for once, perhaps they could help people. I don't hold them responsible, because they were his own actions, but I can't help but think things might be different if they'd taken him seriously.