Hi,
I have been posting on the psychotherapy forum, but as time goes on, it seems like I might fit in more with this group.

I am a month out of breaking all contact with my abuser, who turns out to have also been my therapist. It consisted of emotional and spiritual abuse, though I believe it would eventually have become sexual abuse. The farther I am out the more the fog clears, the more I can begin to think for myself once again, and the more disturbed I feel by it all.

One thing that I am coming to terms with, is that this is a life pattern. Parents, boyfriends, and now therapist. I have never really been able to name it or validate until now. This therapist abuse has been so horrendous that I can't ignore this issue in my life anymore.

Things is, how do you stop the pattern? I didn't consciously choose these abusive people, but I sure did ignore the red flags and stayed with them longer than I should have. My fear is that I will start over-compensating, announcing red flags when they aren't there, leaving good people b/c they might accidentally remind me of abuse. And I also fear just ending back in another form of abuse. I feel unsure of my inner compass, of my boundaries. I want to heal this part of me. I can't and I also refuse to go through this again. I know I deserve to heal, I am just not sure how.