Thanks to all the responses to his difficult subject for me.

Your description of those other male survivors of sexual abuse describes me 100%, Hermit; in fact, the fear that by having sex makes me the abuser is the exact fear and thought that I have. It makes me feel uncomfortable and afraid when I think of others, especially people I know, having sex. On TV it's talked about and discussed like an everyday subject, and I don't know how to process sex so casually.

But the other side of the coin is that I desire sex. I desire and fear the same .

Hamster, it's not that I won't disclose sexual information to healthcare professionals specifically, I won't disclose that information to anyone, and under most circumstances I'd rather suffer than see a doctor. (Can't really explain where this dislike of doctors comes from.)