I've ended a 5-year relationship. It was insanely strong (we spoke for 8 hours a day every day) whilst it lasted, but there were bad things too. I looked up to Rose far too much, placing her on a pedestal above me whilst I had my own self esteem problems. She was willing to give this another try and let us at least be very close buddies again, but due to a misunderstanding (caused by the fact that after the last time we spoke after a 2 month gap I found how I was feeling 3 hours after she ended the conversation and posted it on her blog--thus interpreted as backstabbing) she now considers me an asshole and is quite clear about never speaking to me again. Her other friends have expressed the desire to crap down my neck until I drown.

Anyway, that's beside the point

The fact is that I was so entwined with her for the past 5 years that I can't even think about the summer in which I met her without feeling sad. Even youtube playlists I made in 2007/2008 make me feel sad. The old pictures she's sent me of her artwork make me want to cry. I remember the happy times and it literally sends shivers through my spine. Even things she just liked I have trouble liking now, as I'm literally reminded of her all the time.

Does it get easier?