Back to my original question: Is forgiveness an act, or an emotion?

Saying 'both' doens'nt cut it with me. For if it's both, one must start with the feeling of forgiveness, and that, in a nut shell, is what I'm asking.

How do I forgive myself? Must I start with an emotion, and proceed to an act? or must the act proceed the sensation, the 'feeling' of being forgiven?

I want, in my heart, to forgive my baby sister. She was not involved. She was not a co-conspiriter. But at the end, she turned her back on me, threw me into the hounds of hell to save herself. A choice. A descision.

And as the devil howled in the throws of agony, my baby sister offered up me as a sacrafice. To save herself. To save her innocence.

Were I in her shoes, I would have chosen otherwise. I would have slayed myself for the truth. Because those that survived must live on in the world.

She chose to sacrafice me, and now everyone says I must forgive her.

Forget aobut me. I can't forgive myself until I find a way to forgive her.

...and thereby stab myself in the process.

b.

...therapy is a good thing. It will help you find the answer you can live with.