Quote:
Originally Posted by lekawa
Amen Brotha! 
I would add that the "troubled" person needs to actually be able to feel the compassion...otherwise the "tough-love" comes across as "suck it up, bucko!" which is highly inappropriate unless you're dealing with a little kid who's merely looking for clear boundaries. This is usually not the case with addicts and troubled teens. There is pain that needs to be addressed/worked out, and there needs to be a safe/trusted place for that to happen. |
Hello lekawa and welcome to PC!
I don't entirely agree with that lekawa. Sometimes you are not in a place to see that something is for your benefit. In the case of addiction for example "if you truly loved me you would ..." They are so self involved that they cannot
feel anything that does not fit into their rationalization of the world as a postive thing. I do agree that there is pain that needs to be addressed, but sometimes (imo) the person must first face what the current behavior is doing to themselves and those around them.
In your example of troubled teens. Teens by definition do not know what is in their best interest. They
think they do, but they do not have the life experience or maturity to understand the full impact of their decisions. I often say I wish I knew half of what I
thought I knew at 18. Sometimes I wish I could see life that simply again.