It's not a matter if we disagree with you,at this point you sound like you are saying that you have decided "no" to meds. Besides Depakote, have you ever tried soething else instead? I found it too sedative and robbed emotion, so I opted to try different med(s) instead, that my pdoc has suggested and worked along with me.
So, for me, it worked out, I can understand how a person wants to quit meds,when side effects are really bad,but that is a clue, to be assertive and take it up with your pdoc, and talk about alternatives.
Didn't your pdoc titrate your dose? I'm not a doc or anything like that, but was on Depakote for a short time, when pdoc started with me,she went slow and had me get bloodwork to be sure there were no effects on the liver,that is one of the main reasons they have you get labwork done as they adjust your dose, and even afterwards too.
If your pdoc isn't willing to talk of different options, or even refuse to, you may want to consider seeking a new one,that's just my own opinion.
Well, you need to do what feels right for you, as long as you are not a danger to yourself and/or others.
Take care now,
DE