Oh, I can relate to the part in your post, about actually getting worse seems to come from being told you have a condition (not your exact words) that happened to me for about 2 months after the DX and first med used,Depakote,I got off of the stuff a few months after and tried other,I've been with Lamitcal for over 2 yrs and it's good.
But back when the DX was made I was bonkers,refusing to have to take meds,then when I did it was a nightmare, even my T suggested to my pdoc, to wean me off of it.
I had moved with hubby and his relo so once settled in with my present pdoc, him and I worked on other medication options, I'm glad I persued it.
I will not deny there had been days that I just wanted to say, "the hell with it", no more meds for me.