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I find it difficult to specify what forgiveness is. But to answer your question I believe it is a choice (act) that needs to be based on emotions to be truly genuine. My father did some horrible things to me when I was a child. When I was 24 yo he was dying of cancer for two years. This whole time I was trying to make myself to forgive him but I just could not do it in the way I wanted. I wanted for him to die in peace. I took care of him for these two years I was not scared of him I did not feel anger towards him anymore, but I could not ever love him again. I could never tell him I love him or anything on that note. In my brain I decided to do it but I just could not. So it sure has a lot to do with emotions. At least in my opinion.
I guess it would be different if he would still be alive but I feel very guilty for not being able to forgive him when I had the chance.
I donīt know how it works for self forgiveness but I would think the dynamic would by similar. You can decide to do it, somebody could tell you you should do it, but can you really when you are not ready on the emotional side???
But maybe my view of what forgiveness is, is wrong. Maybe it is not the need to feel love again maybe it is just the absence of anger or hate which I do not feel. In that way I have forgiven my father. I do understed him much more and his actions and I know he loved me and he did his best in his situation. But unfortunately he never got to know that.
Last edited by Solepa; Apr 26, 2013 at 05:40 AM.
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