So... Hi. i'm new here...

I made this name a while ago... and i know the feeling.. but it doesn't make sense at the moment.

I was diagnosed depression at 17, bipolar at 20, and schizoaffective -bipolar type at 21 by a shrink who actually spent more than two weeks with me >.>

I quit medication cold-turkey in august 2012 or so and have been stable/happy for the majority of the time.

I'm a college student, and I was pretty unmotivated during fall semester. And then the spring came and i was a new person, bright, bubbly, smarter than most people i ran into, understood concepts in my classes, engaged in conversation... Just an awesome person lol. But now we're nearing the end of spring semester and I think I crossed a line.

For about a week and a half I've been getting short but intense drops into depression where I think I have no future in the industry I'm trying to get into and I'm worthless, and I should just end everything because I don't really have a future.... These last for less than an hour and its happened two or three times.

I don't know if its paranoia but if my dog is sleeping I will glance over every 10 minutes or so and just make sure she's alive/breathing, like she's gonna die any second or maybe she's already dead. She's like 3 years old with no detrimental health conditions, so this seems silly.

I keep talking about everything i can think of. I was with my cousin and in an hour we covered SO many things... Just chaining out of whatever my brain fired off next.

Over the past four months I have:
- inquired about multiple volunteer opportunities/work study
- asked about joining student government at my college
- solicited Radioshack for electronics components
- called casinos for junk circuitboards (for the volunteer project)
- talked to the Vice president about getting more recycling bins at the other campuses
- looked into building a tesla coil
- made it my future goal to decrease worldwide energy use through more efficient circuits on a fundamental level.
- set up an 8week advanced paced AC electronics course (part of my degree major)
- sometimes see flashes of shadows in my peripheral vision, or floating sparkles/lights/shadows.
- not done much for my schoolwork. I'm about 5 chapters behind in two classes, and slacking majorly on my math class.

I don't know. I'm doing so well. I see the signs... and I think I know where they lead. But I don't want medication, and I don't think i need it...

I might be manic... or hypomanic.... but I just feel so good most times.... Thanks for listening, I hope that mostly made sense.

Do I really need medication?? Or can I just power through this?