</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
What do you do when you're thinking about something you don't want to think about? You dodge, and shift your mind to something else

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I don't know how many times I have been told this very same thing. I even admitted doing this to you, but once again, it didn't FEEL REAL - it sounded absolutely logical and correct (my "ok" self was telling me that), but I totally blocked out the emotional part of that reality, so it did not really connect, truly connect!. There was no RADICAL ACCEPTANCE of what I was truly doing, over and over and over, because I WOULD NOT ALLOW MYSELF to connect the emotional with the logical to find peace or solution or whateverl!!!!! (Man, I hope I am making sense, because I don't know if I'll be able to even edit this to make sense...)

Check this out:

I went on and on yesterday in my previous post, responding to what you were saying. I understood that. It made perfect sense. I AGREED. But what was my response? Another "dodge" or "shift" at what should have been a very crucial moment of understanding. Even avoiding by getting angry at your choice of words - another tactical move! No connection - No acceptance.

This morning I woke up; mind started buzzing as usual. One thought in particular has been coming up alot lately which requires a very very emotional choice for me and the need to be able to accept that choice once it is made - it's a biggie for me, in other words.

Guess what happened next? MY MIND JUST START JUMPING FROM ONE THOUGHT TO ANOTHER, about stupid %#@&#! (excuse the language, but it just needs to be there...); everything came up EXCEPT WHAT I NEEDED TO BE THINKING ABOUT - MY REAL PROBLEM - The one I must make a decision about - a life altering decision (this time), but could have been any hard decision. It kept being pushed farther and farther into the recesses of my mind with other thoughts, until I ended up thinking about your post to me (and getting myself all twisted up for "complaining"), then it happened!

THE COMPLETE CONNECTION WAS MADE!
THE COMPLETE CONNECTION WAS MADE!
THE COMPLETE CONNECTION WAS MADE!

PERNA, YOU HAVE JUST HELPED ME REACH RADICAL ACCEPTANCE IN A HUGELY PROBLEMATIC AREA OF MY LIFE!!!!!!

A new day with better insight! Wow. I am shaking so badly right now. I gotta sign off. I can't write anymore right now. I need to stay in this frame of mind right now...

BUT I JUST HAD TO LET YOU KNOW!!!



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