I agree with Lucy. There are many horrible things in this world. We all have our own journey, our own sorrows, etc.

I have often felt like you do, but not about having bipolar. I wonder what I did to have a mom who died when I was a kid, and a dad who was dismissive to me when I obviously needed help. I wonder why all the kids when I was in school beat me up, knocked me down, and told me I was disgusting and ugly to the point that I can't see anything else. What did I do to deserve all of that? I probably didn't do anything. It's just the journey I have to take and I probably won't ever know why.