I don't know what happened tonight one minute I was watching TV and the next minute my inner thigh started to bother me alot so I started thinking what if my lymph is swollen, what if it is swollen because I have cancer, if the cancer is the lymph nodes then I have progressive cancer and will do soon. You know the whole snowball effect of OCD thinking going from 0 to 100 in 2 seconds flat. This caused me to go right into panic attack mode couldn't breath, ringing in the ears, sweaty, etc. I took 1.5mg of my Klonopin which totally hate doing. And then sat done and began to cry which I am still doing because then everything just started hitting me at once the fact that I can't seem to land a job, we have not been able to produce children yet, we have little money to speak of, and I have gained 60lbs over the past 2 years and use to be super thin....its just all getting to me and all I want to do now is get drunk and numb myself I suppose.
Having a really bad night.

Jenn