((((((( Twisted ))))))))))
Please try to contact your pdoc, or one you can see right away. There is help,maybe the pills weren't right for you but there are other ones. It could be that you need a different mix. Lamictal is really not effective as some others for mania, but is excellent for depressive and hypomanic stages.
It is important with any med not to just give up,unless the prescribing pdoc advises it or helps you taper off.
One can do more harm than good messing with their meds. please call your pdoc.
Complications arise too, if one is abusing non prescription drugs and/or alcohol, I'm not saying you are, I do not know you, but it can be a problem if you are, and will need to adress that too.
I understand it can be overwhelming, I truly feel for you, and that is why I'm urging you to get professional help.
It's hard right now to ever think things can get better, but honestly they do, get the right meds,be compliant with the treatment plan,and not stray from a plan,consistancy is so important with anything.
Your problem(s) may not all be due to Bipolar, but a blend of other disorder(s),it is common, and with that you may need a customized combo or change in meds. if your present pdoc appears to be lacking in good communication(s) with you,try being assertive, unfortunately some docs don't seem to devote enough time with their patients, so we more or less have to be the ones to be a little more aggressive in getting some answers or direction.
PLEASE DO NOT give up,get help.
And always keep in mind there are people here that care, so always feel free to post/reply and/or PM.
Take care now,
DE