I think forgiveness is a process, much like grief. I don't believe you can forgive until you have gone through the grief process for what acts/consequences you feel need forgiving. Hurting implies grief and grieving (or being able to fix through the use of anger) is necessary when we have lost something or had it taken from us that was important to us.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius
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