I feel for you. The one time I've been admitted, and then left for intense outpatient, was when I was depressed and in an emotionally abusive marriage. That intense treatment was exactly what I needed for BOTH of those situations. It changed my life for the better and help me to see myself and my relationship in a different way.

Some pdocs are jerks. This reminds me of one I dealt with once. Some of what he said to me while depressed, divorcing while pregnant and having to go off meds, makes therapists jaws drop. But you know what, getting inpatient treatment is also the first step for you to find another/better P. I know you're tired and money is an obstacle, but plow through it, find a way, because I really believe it will be worth it! You know, I remember freaking about the money when I went (about 7 years ago). Now I don't even remember the struggle of paying it off, but I did - by myself and over time. You can too so try not to worry too much about that piece.