I do, and try not to. But the closest I get to actually quitting is starving myself or mini OD's....

Been doing it since I was maybe 15? Started with burning my hands in hotwater, slamming cupboard doors on my hands, then pulling my hair, knocking my head and eventually cutting...

Been very good with the cutting, never left permanent scars, made sure I just cut deep enough to draw blood and the marks would be gone after a few weeks. That is until Easter weekend, where I cut for the first time in 2 yrs and made quite a deep gash, its still pink and shows no signs of shrinking / dissapearing....

I self-harm when I'm hurting, I guess I try and re-route the pain? Feeling abandoned is a huge trigger, thats what caused me to relapse with the cutting Worst part is, the knife is still under my mattress, because I figure I will need it again since bf and I have officially reconciled and its the only thing that provides instant relief for my perceived abandonment...