As others have said .. you didn't do anything to deserve this. It is Okay to get mad and blow up over it and your relationships and wonder how your son will learn to navigate his life, and he will have a life, a great one. Treatments for Bipolar have changed so much, think of 5 years , 10 years from now... I think it will be amazing to see all the new treatments.
Hang in there

Keep posting we are all here for you