Hello I hope things are better for you at this time. ai am going to give you a number for a hotline for sutters. 1-800-DONT-CUt this will give you the number for somone to call in case you are in a crisis, and need a live person to talk to about your problems. you may also call 1-800-273-TALK. I am going to also leave my email address in case you would like to email, if you need someone to talk to neohiodbsa@yahoo.com. all information is strictly confidential, that is left by email. Take care Soidhonia