Lee has suggested that some women might find jealousy flattering while others might find it insulting. So which way is your gf?

The latter, per your posts.

avlady has suggested that you are risking her life and your freedom from jail if you do not act on this problem immediately. Very true - the "crime of passion defense" has been eliminated in most jurisdictions in the US, and even where it has not been eliminated, all it would get you is proving no premeditation and, subsequently, the reduction of the crime to manslaughter (still quite punishable) crime of passion legal definition of crime of passion. crime of passion synonyms by the Free Online Law Dictionary.

That, even in "in flagrante" cases.

I think you need to use a behavior modification strategy if you want to stay in this relationship safely for yourself and for the woman.

The behavior modification should be along the lines of "zero tolerance policy".

You should have zero tolerance for nosiness on your part.

In practical terms, it would mean never asking her questions. If she is forthcoming with her own accounts of what has been going on with her, that may be fine (unless you get irate, still), but you should not ask her any questions about what is or has been going on with anybody in her life other than YOU. It is all her private life and you should respect her as such. She does not owe you any explanations. You are not her manager and she is not your report, right?

If you cannot do that, stay away from her.

If you can stick to this behavioral policy very firmly, you can then, at your leisure, discuss your emotions on here, with a T if you have one, or with anybody else, or via journalling or creative expression, or anything safe of that sort, but you need to first be able to stick to the rules of behavior.